Random Useful Purpose

Logically, it seems ridiculous. Seemingly random things happening according to a plan that leads to something very specific. The whole universe and every atom in it would have to be in on it.

I’ve never seen a UFO. But the most unexplainable thing I have seen is far less explainable than a UFO. I looked up at the clouds, as dreamers time wasting procrastinators awesome people of impressive stature often do, and saw a wiggled line separating the clouds. This in itself is nothing, I just thought it was pretty, and observed the clouds for a while. Soon after I looked up and what was a crooked, random natural line had been blown as straight as a ruler. Ignoring the strangeness of a straight line in the sky, it seemed kind of backwards that something natural would start off random and end up… not. Unless of course there are little aliens up there playing with the clouds just to confuss the people of impressive stature, it seems nature is intelligent and can work backwards if it wants to.

I get the impression that the world we live in is more fabulous and surprising under the hood than it seems. But I also don’t know what that is, though I’ve heard my fair share of ideas about it, and like a couple of them.

So I want to relate the stunningly interesting methods by which the universe appears to be forcing me to produce vegan cheese. Just because it’s interesting, and reminds me of that straight line in the sky.

It started in 2010 when I just wanted to make a vegan cheese. I knew there were a few out there, but to me they were expensive. Let’s ignore the irony of me selling one of those expensive vegan cheeses for now.

Over the next one and a half years I went through phases of experimenting with various ingredients, getting closer then further away, feeling elated and frustrated. Above all though it always seemed promising and possible. Angela telling me I was going to be a millionaire didn’t stop me much.

It came to a point were I had something fairly impressive. I started organising a business. Licensing… trading name… tax…

Then my cosy little life fell apart. I was actually living under a friend’s house for a while, for “a couple of weeks” even though I had no idea of where I was going after and although some logical part of my mind was telling me I needed a job, there was no way I was going out looking for one. Most people’s idea of security to me is less preferable than being wandering vagrant.

So instead I looked for ways to sell cheese. I had what I needed to make small quantities… a stick blender, a pot… and sources for all the ingredients.

Then I scored the cheap rent – a friend with a house that was not really rentable as she was using part of it. The short of it is that I basically got a whole house for the price of a cheap room.

From here I launched the Notzarella trials. I would lug a backpack full of cheese to the post office about a kilometer away every afternoon, and make cheese in the evening in 5kg batches.

Notzarella was born. People liked it. I had some the encouragement and reason to go forward with it. I think I did this for a month or two, and sold about 2,000 worth of cheese, probably making around $1000. Time files when you’re busy.

But there were problems. Business certification was expensive. I’d need to find a nearby certified kitchen, which were all $30-$40 an hour. The cheese-making process was long because it needs to set. I couldn’t very well take it home to set it – I didn’t even have a car. I felt positive, but knew it would be difficult. Some part of me felt like it would be okay, but I didn’t see how.

Then I scored the house.

Other friends of mine lived just over the bordering NSW, about an hour’s drive from Brisbane. They were taking their kids to Darwin for his work and were leaving behind a couple of cats and a few pot plants. And someone had to mow the grass. I think they saw it clearly: they had a massive recently refurbished kitchen with semi-professional grade equipment. They’d designed it with pizza parties in mind!

They had a two door drinks fridge that can actually handle quantities of setting cheese and storing almost a thousand blocks. Just sitting there, in their garage. It could almost have had my name on it.

They have a heavy duty stovetop with a large center gas burner. The range-hood gives ample height for me to plonk a 50 liter pot to do 90 block batches of cheese.

But the best, most amazing clincher is, and which I had no idea about until after moving, is that in NSW I can legally operate this type of business from home, as I am not dealing with any unsafe food types. No one needed to come and check me out. I didn’t need to pay a cent. Once I notified the government, I could order my ingredients, make my cheese and sell it to businesses far and wide.

Since the beginning I’ve been using a litte domestic stick blender to help with cooking process. It’s always barely coped. I’ve always wanted a $800 robot coupe blender.

The other day the little on broke. I needed something fast.

I checked ebay. Someone, somewhere was auctioning a big, powerful, robot coupe stick blender. I messaged them with an offer of $100. They accepted. They lived in the Gold Coast and were visiting my area the next day. I bought it with a bank transfer.

The cool thing is not quite that if I had bought one earlier I would have been out $600 – in the scheme of things that wouldn’t stop me. It’s not even that it was available when and where I needed it. The cool thing is that the modern versions of this thing don’t have a function where you can leave them on and walk away – a feature that saves me one hour every time I make cheese.

Considering I now have a system almost as effective as the $37,000 mixer-kettle I would have bought if I had the money, I’m pretty happy.

What makes me more happy, and it’s more of a warm inner glow than a conscious ecstaticness, is that I have a hands on, honest job that helps save people’s lives and the suffering of animals. My mind wants me to develop some awesome intellectual property and make passive income off it while I meditate under a palm tree with my feet dangling in the crystal blue waters of Costa Rica, but I can see more every day that this is not meant to be, yet.

I don’t know what the fuck is going on or how. I don’t know what I’d be doing right now or how if I had to find a commercial kitchen in Brisbane. There’d definitely be a lot more debt involved, I could convince anyone to lend a financially non-existent person money for a completely new business in an untested market. I doubt I have what that would take.

So if I am not just seeing what I want to see like every other human being on the planet (I’d like to believe I’m not, just like every other human being on the planet), it seems that natural little random me has some kind of purpose, which the universe is blowing me towards.

Posted on March 2, 2012 Modified June 28, 2018