I believe personal growth requires facing pain. However, I often sought comfort, and in China, they call this self-comforting. While masturbation helped me avoid alcoholism, it also became an escape from a frustrating life, negatively impacting relationships and wasting time.
For someone like me with undiagnosed ADHD, frustration was a constant. This easily led to using masturbation as a primary way to cope with stress, especially by my 30s.
Does this sound familiar? Perhaps life hasn’t unfolded as you hoped. Your creativity and intelligence might feel trapped, hindering your sense of purpose and real connection. In this situation, masturbation can become a reliable constant. This was my experience for two decades.
The Temporary Fix
Masturbation offers quick relief from stress and the feeling of being lost. It numbs worries and provides a temporary sense of control. However, it doesn’t address the underlying issues: the lack of purpose, creative blocks, financial stress, or relationship problems. Instead, it can keep you trapped, diverting energy from actions that could build a more fulfilling life. It becomes a way to avoid confronting bigger issues and taking necessary steps towards change.
For example, I’d experience frustration after too much computer time or competitive gaming, leading to stress. Masturbation was my quick way to alleviate this. I believe unhealthy habits and a lack of self-awareness regarding my limits contributed to this pattern. Developing control over habits is crucial for understanding those limits.
The Opportunity for Growth
I often experience unexplained physical pain, which porn and masturbation effectively relieve. However, I’ve learned that sometimes, consciously feeling this pain can help me understand its source. Using masturbation to simply avoid it means missing an opportunity for deeper insight.
Consider this: What if you used that discomfort as a catalyst for growth? By not automatically turning to masturbation for relief, you create space for real transformation and open yourself to growth opportunities. You can choose to face your fears and build a life filled with meaning. This involves learning healthy ways to manage burnout, building genuine self-confidence by confronting challenges, analyzing your patterns of avoidance, taking action on financial worries, finding creative solutions to problems, building authentic connections with others, practicing decision-making, finding sustainable motivation, developing lasting discipline, improving focus and organization, and prioritizing genuine self-care.
My personal goal is to understand myself better and create a more aligned life that doesn’t involve feeling such persistent pain.
Conscious Choices and Redirected Energy
Just like having a social drink is different from using alcohol to escape emotions, it’s important to recognize when masturbation becomes an avoidance tactic.
While not inherently unhealthy, as you age, you might find that sexual energy is something you want to use more intentionally. It’s about recognizing when you’re using masturbation to avoid dealing with underlying issues and consciously choosing a different path.
The idea that masturbation has no cost, especially when overdone, is a modern myth.
Even when you’re younger, I believe that sexual energy can be redirected and transmuted to help build the life you truly desire. It’s about facing discomfort, confronting challenges, and taking the necessary steps toward a life filled with purpose, authenticity, and fulfillment. You have that potential within you; it’s time to unlock it, with your bits.